Relating

This is an excerpt from a private consultation held in September 2005 (presented here with the permission of the client). The names of the individuals have been changed to respect their privacy:

ROGER: I am starting a new job tomorrow, and I want to do this one differently than I have in the past. I don't want to be constantly doing battle with my management or my co-workers. I feel like this time I'm different, but I want to make sure. Can you help me with this?

BARATTA: All right, yes... You are certainly different now than in the past. You have a new space, a new receptacle for a very clear love, a clear, loving energy to be there for you, to be brought to you, and for you to receive it. It's also a place for hope, for that sense of anticipation and expectation. It's a place for light, truly, and a place for magic.

So much is here in terms of your way of working in a job, all right? In terms of that old way of relating to it, which was through the "face" of that struggle, through the face of going to battle. So much of that was your way of relating. You are now finding a new way of engaging your power.

What's so very important here is in that awareness of the new space that's been created in you, in that awareness of that new space that leaves a doorway, a portal, open for receiving this wonderful, beautiful, feminine flowing kind of loving energy, that just sort of creeps in like a mist, and touches you -- touches you in a very clear way, that touches you and heals you in a very gentle way -- nothing dynamic or overt -- it's just there and you can feel it, and you can experience it, and you can let it change you. And you've been doing that very thing, all right? And so that becomes now the new potential for your way of relating to this job, and to many other projects as well. Yes, it becomes a potential, then, for you to relate to your life, yes, and to relate to others in that way. There's a certain humility that's there, a certain openness, a certain peace…

ROGER: I feel it.

BARATTA:…A certain acceptance, that "I accept love. I accept being loved—by this love that just flows into my reality like this wonderful dragon's breath, yes, this wonderful mist in the morning, all right? Yes, indeed. And it has a wonderful feminine energy to it, that sort of energy of the Sisters of the Cauldron, yes? That energy of the muse, and of the glamours, yes, that seductive energy that is not of the dark but of the light, and yes, that integrates, truly, the dark and the light, yes indeed. …That connects you with the ability to be responsible for the dark as well as the light, yes. And all of this is that resonance that leads you to new ways of hooking into your work -- new ways of relating to it, both in the more real, and in the illusion.

The point here is that you have had only the familiar ways of relating to a job thus far. And when you walk in that door, we are suggesting to you, tomorrow, that you walk in with an awareness that coming with you is this mist, and that the mist, in a certain way, will be a teacher for you, that you go with a sense of humility, a sense of being a novice, not in terms of how you solve problems, etcetera, but in terms of how you see yourself, in terms of how you relate to being in a job, of how you relate to working for, and yes, with an employer, of how you contribute, and how you allow your employer to contribute, you see, of how you view yourself as a team member, and again, coming back around to contributor.

ROGER: I do understand, and I was thinking quite a lot on how am I going to be on the job. I sense that it's going to be different. Yesterday, especially, it came to me that, "Oh my gosh, I'm letting go of the way I did it before, and I'm opening to the way I want to have it now, and I sense the energy coming. And I can see that it's like a test, like a preparation for the next bigger one, that there's more beyond, past even this job.

BARATTA:: Yes indeed, it's about the future, all right? It's about the direction you are moving, where you are going from here. And so, you see, this job is part of that. It's part of that journey, absolutely, and in that certain way, yes, a test. Not a test of you, a test of a new direction, a test of a new way of relating to yourself and to the world. A time to go with humility, a time to go with the awareness of that mist, that peace, that sense of beautiful wisdom, that sense of feminine energy, the glamoury, the Sisters of the Cauldron, yes indeed, the sense of knowing that you are loved, the sense of being willing and able to receive as well as to give from that place. Again, yes, relating in a new way to being on a job, to being a contributor, to being a team member, to being an employee, to being one who participates in the destiny of, yes, your own future, absolutely, but also in the destiny through the connections with others, the destiny of their future, the destiny of what they are dreaming of in their personal lives. You see, this is all quite beyond "going to battle."

ROGER: Absolutely, and I can feel it and sense it, Baratta.

BARATTA: Yes, you can.

ROGER: I can sense that energy, and it's so wonderful that somehow I felt that this company was the right one, of course. Thank you very much for your help, because I feel that this is the right one. I feel that excitement of going to work for them, and I feel that yet, it's going to be an outlet for my creativity, for the other things that I could do there, working with the people. It's interesting, everything that you've said, I sense it. I couldn't put it into words, but it was like the mist, the air of what could be.

BARATTA: Yes, exactly!

ROGER: Thank you for acknowledging that. That's so important. And there is another aspect of this, which I would like to mention, because it is so related:

My second wife, I did get divorced from her. She basically wanted the divorce, though I still loved her. The divorce was final in October, and I did write to her one or two times afterwards just to see how she was doing. I never got a response, but a few days ago I got an email from her, asking, "How is the divorce going?" whether it's final, and also saying that she was laid off, and that she's basically "ready for adventure." I sensed (and I feel that this is not a battle area for me), but I sensed that she may want to come back to be with me again. But then when I look at what has happened between us and so on, it was the fault of both of us. I don't put the blame on her. We met, we solved certain problems, we separated. And I feel that, yes, there may be a foundation for both of us to get back together, not the way we were before, but in a new way, absolutely in a new way. At one point, again, I was almost ready to do battle, and in my mind I had all kinds of thoughts and images of fighting with her and, again, the same situation that if it doesn't go my way, it's never going to be, and so on. I also feel that in her mind there is a battle as well, but this is only my assumption. But I am less into assuming things and more into asking if it's going one way or the other, because assumptions are generally a game I do with myself and my ego, and it ends up bad for me.

What do you feel in here? She may be waiting to initiate something, to come back. That's my feeling, an assumption in a way, but she has her own pride. She doesn't want to go that way if she's not sure that I may or may not go. She's not sure of my reaction. But I don't want to respond to this like I did before, where I wanted yes or no answers, and right now. I don't want to go that way anymore. I want to have a conversation with her, see how it is, and take it slowly. If it goes one way or the other, that's fine with me. I don't have anything invested in it. I still love her, and yes, there is something in there that could be. And I've been pretty much alone for all these years, and I want to have a relationship with someone, but I am not going to do it the way I did it before, like the battle, not having the courage and the power within myself.

BARATTA: All right. Yes indeed. All right, first of all, yes, very much like the job, another test. Again, not a test of you, an opportunity to relate to a possibility differently, and to make sure that "I'm only relating to the possibility, with that new sense of consciousness of who I am," of having humility, of having humility to the extent of, "Yes, well, I want a relationship, and I don't know what that's going to look like. I don't know who it's going to be with. But as a way of creating a foundation, and as a way of creating a space for that, I want to change the way I relate to everyone -- of the opposite sex, at least -- but truly of everyone." All sexes. All two.

"I want to relate to the opposite sex and to the same sex differently than I have before. I want to have that sense of humility in the interactions, in the communications, in the explorations that happen. I want to have a sense of respect for what I know and don't know about myself, but also for what I know and don't know about the other that I may be talking to. A sense of respect for understanding that every moment is unique. That when we come together and speak, when we talk (me and whoever), that's a moment in time that is unique and rare and special and precious in its own way, that has its own potentials of discovery, personally for each of us -- me and this other person. And that I am gifted and blessed in a certain way, yes, with the opportunity to participate in a moment of discovery, a moment of discovery of me in a new way, a moment of discovery of another person in another way." And yes, participating in the same way for them, where they could have a moment of discovery of you.

And yes, the focus there is on being vulnerable with that particular moment, with what that moment has to reveal, with what that moment has in terms of treasures, that may be quite subtle, may be quite mundane, and yes, part of it may be in the realization of what is not respecting in you, of what is not allowing and honoring, what is not a place of humility within you. What is, otherwise, yes, a sense of an agenda, a sense of wanting to control, a sense of wanting to do battle, a sense of wanting to win the battle, etcetera, a sense of old pains that may come up, whatever.

And this might happen quite privately, within you as you experience, or as you reflect later upon the experience. But you see, this too is a product of the new resonance, a product of the mist that gives space for the intensity of being present in the moment, gives space for the intensity of discovering what is there: what is there in terms of old energy that needs to be looked at; what is there in terms of new potential that otherwise might not be clear.

ROGER: Yeah, I feel that way. And thank you so much. This is so beautiful the way you said it. I will listen to this many times.

BARATTA:: All right. Yes indeed, and there's a bit more there, just one extra detail. And this extra component is: The opportunity to be there and to be a participant in this kind of experience for the other person, that they can have that similar kind of experience, is a sacred one, and a beautiful one, all right? It's a rare and precious opportunity that may happen every day, but nevertheless, it is rare and precious.

And so, that is part of the humility, part of the honoring. We threw that one in, but it is part of this formula as well, part of this alchemy. And that is, yes, the honoring, the sacredness, the beauty, the sense of celebration, quiet celebration that, "Whoa, I'm here, and I am honored, blessed in that way by the opportunity to be here for you," with a sense of clarity. With that sense of, "This is what I'm called upon for in this moment, to be as clear as possible in my humility, in the setting aside of agendas, and the setting aside of control, so that I can be of service to another soul, to another consciousness, to be a witness, truly, of a moment of their growth, a moment of their exploration of their personal unknown. And in that, I also grant them the same gift in me.

A way of relating to people that is fundamentally different, fundamentally new. Yes, indeed.

ROGER: Gosh, I have almost tears in my eyes because I love this way.

BARATTA: Oh, yes!

ROGER: This love for people comes stronger and stronger these days, and it's almost like a wave of love. It came stronger and stronger, and it feels so good, Baratta.

BARATTA: Doesn't it, though?

ROGER: It feels so good. I do love people, and I want to have this beautiful relationship with them in general. Sure, I'd like to have the deeper intimacy with certain people, but in general, I do love people, and it comes more to the surface with all of this. Thank you so much for doing that. Thank you.

BARATTA: You are so very welcome, and we thank you for the opportunity.